A Cynical Look On Chores and White House Kids.

In an interview with Barbara Walters, Obama announced that his daughters will do chores in the white house. That is just great for them, maybe they will learn some discipline or values... or something.

How does this help us?
Well, it doesn't.
What would change for America if they let someone else do their chores?
Well, not a heck of a lot.

The headlines on this are all over the internet and the newspapers. But I write not about the chores they will do, how they will do them, or why they will do them. I write because I don't care. I don't give a rats fecal matter that Obama's children make their beds, or that they do their homework. My attention is far better served elsewhere, and so I hate it when I see these kind of headlines over and over just because a bunch of morons that live on a couch watching abc news, like some kind of obsessive World of Warcraft player glued to the computer, think that they hold some kind of special significance.

This is not nearly the first time that the kids in the White House have attracted undue attention, it happens practically every term a kid is in the white house. A good example are the front page headlines over Amy Carter (President Carter's daughter) being late for school one day in the 70's. One, who cares? And two, kids are late for school all the time!

This kind of news getting that much attention is not only insulting to the media, but to all of America. Would the information be there if nobody was interested? Possibly. However, I don't think it would make the mainstream headlines.

A Cynical Look on Auto Commercials

Apparently, I can't not afford to buy a new car. How this makes sense to even the dimmest mind is a mystery that may never be solved. Do the automobile companies honestly believe that those buying their products are dimmer than an underground shed with no lights? Apparently so. Apparently, these commercials are meant to be watched with the switch for your brain set to off.

In these times, however, buying any car from a manufacturer who has a decent chance of going out of business is an iffy proposition. For when the company folds guess how much that 5 year or 50k mile warranty is good for. Perhaps mopping up a spill if you have the paperwork, because the company won't be able or willing to honor it. And when your car breaks down with no warranty and nobody producing parts for it, guess who's there to help you! Nobody, that's who.

So no only does the commercial insult your intelligence, it also manages to promise that which the company cannot be certain it is capable of providing. It's such a massive quantity of fail that I'm honestly surprised they managed to fit it into a single commercial.

As an aside, if anybody can find the commercial on youtube or something, please leave a link. I'd love to put it in this post, but have thus far been unable to find the bloody thing.

A Cynical Look on President Bush's Pardons

Criminal:
"Ooh dear, pardon me Sir"

Bush: "Not a Problem!"

As I came off my hiatus I was intrigued to find out Bush had handed out fourteen more pardons. I knew that he was a crook, of course, but it seems like now he isn't even trying to hide it. This brings his total count of pardons up to 171. Here is a list of the most recent fourteen:

Leslie Owen Collier of Charleston, Mo. She was convicted for unauthorized use of a pesticide and violating the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act.- "When you're Poooising pigeons in the park..." fun song

Milton Kirk Cordes of Rapid City, S.D. Cordes was convicted of conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act, which prohibits importation into the country of wildlife taken in violation of conservation laws. - Like when the Asian lady bugs escaped, but more illegal.

Richard Micheal Culpepper of Mahomet, Ill., who was convicted of false statements to the federal government. - He was pardoned for this?

Brenda Jean Dolenz-Helmer of Fort Worth, Texas, for reporting or helping cover up a crime. - Sounds like mainstream news 101 to me.

Andrew Foster Harley of Falls Church, Va. Harley was convicted of wrongful use and distribution of marijuana and cocaine. - I suppose that we will need to learn how to do it rightfully, then.

Obie Gene Helton of Rossville, Ga., whose offense was unauthorized acquisition of food stamps. - Good god, not food stamps!

Carey C. Hice Sr. of Travelers Rest, S.C., who was convicted of income tax evasion. - I want this pardon.

Geneva Yvonne Hogg of Jacksonville, Fla., convicted of bank embezzlement. - Hopefully no longer has a job there

William Hoyle McCright Jr. of Midland, Texas, who was sentenced for making false entries, books, reports or statements to a bank. - I own the moon, want to buy it?

Paul Julian McCurdy of Sulphur, Okla., who was sentenced for misapplication of bank funds. - If you give your money to us, we'll all take a trip to Hawaii!

Robert Earl Mohon Jr. of Grant, Ala., who was convicted of conspiracy to distribute marijuana. - Just like the grocery store conspires to sell us bread!

Donald Alan Mohrhoff of Los Angeles, who was convicted for unlawful use of a telephone in a narcotics felony. - Unlawful use of a phone? That's funny on its own!

Daniel Figh Pue III of Conroe, Texas, convicted of illegal treatment, storage and disposal of a hazardous waste without a permit.- You need a license for that toenail collection Mr.

Orion Lynn Vick of White Hall, Ark., who was convicted of aiding and abetting the theft of government property.- Next stop, the Presidential seal!

Although I congratulate President Bush for pardoning some drug charges that in my opinion should not be against the law (There will be a post on that later) What exactly warrants a presidential pardon? I certainly don't see any hostage situations or rebellions listed. Why is it that these seemingly random people deserve to be forgiven for their crimes when other, much less serious crimes, are "Punished to the fullest extent of the law"

The Presidential Pardon was not intended to be used in this manner. The Founding fathers envisioned the pardon as having a narrow purpose in times of war and rebellion. The president might offer pardons to rebellious factions as an inducement for a laying down of arms and national reconciliation. This point is made by Alexander Hamilton in the Federalist Papers.

The most interesting cases, I found, were the bank embezzlement and lying to the fed cases. It is very suspicious that Bush would cover for someone that was lying to the federal government. Even though the press seems to hate Bush adamantly, this has not gotten very much media attention. Also, why exactly do you give a pardon to someone who was embezzling from a bank, especially with all of the attention on the economy?

All of these suspicions seem to remain unanswered, and the President's power to pardon crimes, including his own, is absolute and cannot be overruled.

This is just yet another case of the cynical hypocrisy of Washington. "Do as I say, not as I do"

A Cynical Look On our Hiatus

Hiatus: a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc.


The bad part about when we go on hiatus is that nothing gets done. You don't get any witty articles; we don't make fun of Obama and Bush; you don't scoff at our writing; we don't cry about economic doom. Tests, quizzes, and term papers: only that kind of thing gets done. But, that kind of thing is not interesting. And so, you will wait until we feel like letting you out of the corner.