A Cynical Look On The Great Kitten Warz.

The Kitten Warz, they have begun.
Apparently the main cause of this war is over several ounces of the rare catnip resource.
This is perhaps the one thing the kittens can agree on.

"dis happund cuz i jus rweally need dat catnip," says fuzzlewazum, Kitten Warz veteran and catnip enthusiast.

According to furball the other kittens aren't very nice at all, "i dun liek thos giez, dey jus mean. and i jus rweally need dat catnip."

"Ceiling cat sed i get sevuntey-too tinz ove cat nip wen i go boom," said fireball, the until-just-recently living kamikaze kitten.

It looks like these battles will not die down any time soon. Catnip is really great after all. It's pretty much the best thing to happen ever. You better stay away from mine!

Yes catnip, we all jus rweally need it.

A Cynical Look On The Growing Number of Tiger Penguin Attacks

Tiger Penguins
Perhaps one of the most frightening creatures to grace the islands south of Antarctica.

And they appear to be becoming more aggressive.
Nine tiger penguin attacks have been reported this year alone, up from a reported two a year earlier.

Local occupants are horrified by the Tiger Penguins' numerous vicious attacks.

"They can smell fear," said Roberta Wellington, one of the many islanders terrorized by the tiger penguins. "Even after they had taken my husband's left arm, they returned to take his right. Now he just has stumps."

"I suppose they can smell arms too," Roberta added, a look of horror coming across her face as her eyes turned to her own arms.

Reports indicate that the greatest number of tiger penguins were sighted just slightly south of the earth's southern pole.

"We go there all the time," said Ted Schwarz, whose friend was viciously mauled by a Tiger Penguin. "It's where we get our feel good happy dust."

"Someone needs to put a stop to it, for my friend's sake."

A Cynical Look On Getting Shot

A new study by the National Happiness Coalition of America has come out with new results that allege being shot in the foot may not be good for happiness.

"In a group of random study participants found on the streets of San Fransisco, 48 out of 50 subjects reported a decrease in happiness shortly after having their foot shot" reported head scientist Dr. Jhon Saadist.

A .32 Caliber Pistol was used for administration of the gunshot.

Evidently two of the subject's opinions could not actually be included among the negative results because after they begun spouting off curse words, the subjects went unconscious before they could express unhappiness. Dr. Saadist explained that a string of curse words is often an expression of great joy.

Unfortunately the NHC did not include a control group, or a group of people that were not shot in the foot during the study process, so the results are not valid.
Had the study been more complete however, the NHC estimates being shot in the foot may decrease happiness by up to 18%.
Until happiness has been proven to be affected negatively by being shot however, Physicians may still administer "shots" as a stress reduction treatment.

A Cynical Look On Posting

I would Like to inform all readers that A Cynical Look now plans to post on a weekly basis.
Most posts should be available for reading on Mondays.