A Cynical Look On Swine Flu

(Note: This is a work of hyperbole and fiction)
As you all know, swine flu is now a cause of great concern in several nations, and has penetrated the population of Kirksville. Concerned for my health and the safety of others, I did some research on the subject. I have come to the conclusion that we are not dealing with any ordinary strain of flu, but rather the potential cause of the zombie apocalypse.

In nearly all documented cases, zombie infestation has been caused by a virus. In the Raccoon City incident, it was a virus, when Will Smith became the last human in New York, it was a virus, and yet again, and when a computer becomes a zombie, it is due to a virus. Thus, viruses cause zombies.

Swine flu has started to create a panic, as would be expected in the early stages of zombie infection, many myths are surrounding swine flu, but one thing we do know is that it does not actually come from pigs, it is from unknown origin, and is only somewhat similar to true swine flu. The latest strains contain genetic material from several sources. This is not like anything we have seen before, it is far worse. It was not transmitted from pigs to humans, it was MADE.

In order for multiple strains of flu, from multiple animals and continents to combine, someone or something must have done what nature cannot, created something with malicious intent that defies everything we have known. A super-virus, unleashed upon an unsuspecting world, masquerading itself as something less sinister, waiting for the time to strike.

When that day comes, I will be ready, and I want you, my friends, to be prepared. Once H1N1 hits the tipping point, it will mutate , and then it will begin. The meeting place is 2nd Floor, Missouri Hall. Call if you need help. After we gather, we move to a secure location. Be prepared, and watch out for trucks.

This work was donated and is accredited to Mr. Leroy