A Cynical Look On Swine Flu

(Note: This is a work of hyperbole and fiction)
As you all know, swine flu is now a cause of great concern in several nations, and has penetrated the population of Kirksville. Concerned for my health and the safety of others, I did some research on the subject. I have come to the conclusion that we are not dealing with any ordinary strain of flu, but rather the potential cause of the zombie apocalypse.

In nearly all documented cases, zombie infestation has been caused by a virus. In the Raccoon City incident, it was a virus, when Will Smith became the last human in New York, it was a virus, and yet again, and when a computer becomes a zombie, it is due to a virus. Thus, viruses cause zombies.

Swine flu has started to create a panic, as would be expected in the early stages of zombie infection, many myths are surrounding swine flu, but one thing we do know is that it does not actually come from pigs, it is from unknown origin, and is only somewhat similar to true swine flu. The latest strains contain genetic material from several sources. This is not like anything we have seen before, it is far worse. It was not transmitted from pigs to humans, it was MADE.

In order for multiple strains of flu, from multiple animals and continents to combine, someone or something must have done what nature cannot, created something with malicious intent that defies everything we have known. A super-virus, unleashed upon an unsuspecting world, masquerading itself as something less sinister, waiting for the time to strike.

When that day comes, I will be ready, and I want you, my friends, to be prepared. Once H1N1 hits the tipping point, it will mutate , and then it will begin. The meeting place is 2nd Floor, Missouri Hall. Call if you need help. After we gather, we move to a secure location. Be prepared, and watch out for trucks.

This work was donated and is accredited to Mr. Leroy

A Cynical Look On the cum hoc ergo propter hoc Logical Fallacy.

The (cum hoc ergo propter hoc) or Correlation does not imply causation fallacy essentially says that because one thing has a correlation with another, it does not automatically mean that one caused the other.

And indeed a third variable could cause the problem.

As an example, Co2's relationship to global warming does not necessarily mean that Co2 is what causes global warming. Instead, global warming may actually be a result of all the hot air spewing fourth from Al Gore's overinflated head.

In any event, a problems stems from this type of logical fallacy. At it's most base level, everything falls into this category. For example, just because you see words on your computer screen does not necessarily mean that anyone wrote them. You may actually see these words because I have hit you over the head with a large blunt object, and now you are simply delusional. Also, being hit over the head with a bat may not be what caused you to be delusional, perhaps it was that moldy sandwich you found in the back of the fridge. To continue, perhaps that sandwich was not moldy because it has been in the back of the fridge for so long, but because aliens have decided to invade peoples homes and use their mold guns on random articles of food.

Starting to see a problem? This can continue on forever.

In reality, man kind can only ASSUME that any one thing causes another through enough correlative data. Any kind of statement that any one thing causes another is in fact a logical fallacy. If humanity wants to have any kind of understanding of the world, it is going to have to accept that enough correlation should at least point towards causation.