A Cynical Look On "Tiger Woods Only Joking"

Bellowing laughter erupted from the luxurious Florida home of Tiger Woods.

The famous golf professional seemed very pleased, gleefully announcing "They fell for it! They all fell for it!"Tiger's practical joke included leaking a story about an "affair" he was having, hitting a tree in his SUV, and having his wife break the windows of said SUV. It was a brilliant setup, upon further examination. The world's most boring icon, Tiger Woods, having an affair? Obviously ridiculous, but Tiger managed to prank the entire world. Pranksters everywhere, take note. This man has bested you.

"This will screw them all up, they'll be talking about it for weeks! It will be just like that time when Britney Spears was bald," he went on to say.

In an exclusive interview, Woods also explained that the real reason he wasn't attending his own tournament was so he could prank it.

Tiger takes golf in a whole new direction as he announces his plans for what he calls practical golf, "Practical jokes are much more fun than golf, so why not combine the two make golf a little more fun?"

Tiger Woods has all sorts of things planned for the competitors, "Rattlesnakes in the hole, an annoying guy that blows an air horn every time you're about to make a stroke, special tee off locations in quicksand, things like that."

I suppose we can all look forward to seeing more of those golf-ball-in-the-nuts-shots we like so much.

Zoom in to continue story.
Disclaimer: These events did not actually occur.

A Cynical Look On The Death of the Internet

This might be it, the internet may be about to end as we know it.
Things like this picture you love may all be gone...
The internet chapter of the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement, a secret copyright treaty whose text Obama's administration refused to disclose due to "national security" concerns, has leaked. It could destroy the fabric of the internet as we know it. In summary, it says:

* That ISPs have to proactively police copyright on user-contributed material. In other words sites like Youtube, or Blogger, or Flicker, or Facebook, or any website that material can be uploaded onto would be practically impossible to run. They would have to hire mountains of lawyers to watch and read every second and letter of all material uploaded before it could actually be posted. These sites have enough trouble as it is with profitability, and under these circumstances making a profit would be absolutely impossible. On a site like youtube, over 28,800 hours of video are uploaded every single day. They would have to hire roughly 3550 people, probably closer to 5000 if they need to report on them, in order to do nothing but watch videos 8 hours a day for seven days a week.

* That ISPs have to cut off the Internet access of accused copyright infringers or face liability. This means that your entire family could be denied to the internet -- and hence to civic participation, health information, education, communications, and their means of earning a living -- if one member is accused of copyright infringement, without access to a trial or counsel.
There is no habeas corpus here, all that has to happen is that someone ACCUSES you of copyright infringement. As others have noted, this could easily be abused into a form a censorship.

* That the whole world must adopt US-style "notice-and-takedown" rules that require ISPs to remove any material that is accused -- again, without evidence or trial -- of infringing copyright. This has proved a disaster in the US and other countries, where it provides an easy means of censoring material, just by accusing it of infringing copyright. Sites like google and yahoo could be easily locked down because someone accused them of copyright infringement, even if they had done no such thing.

* Mandatory prohibitions on breaking DRM, even if doing so for a lawful purpose (e.g., to make a work available to disabled people; for archival preservation; because you own the copyrighted work that is locked up with DRM)
That's right, you can buy something, and if the DRM doesn't work properly, you will not be allowed to fix it. Leaving you in the unfortunate position of having spent money using up file space on your hard drive.

Right now, our only hope is that all of this negative attention gets picked up by the main stream press.
Until then, I hope you don't post something that some random person on the internet wouldn't like, because you could find yourself banned from the internet for copyright infringement.

If you want to read more about it go to http://www.michaelgeist.ca/content/view/4510/125/ who writes from Canada.

A Cynical Look On Loaning to the Government

California is at it again--raising taxes that is.
Or are they?

What they're really doing is raising their income withholding rate--by an incredible 10%.
"Think of it as a forced, interest-free loan: You'll be repaid any extra withholding in April. Those who would receive a refund anyway will receive a larger one, and those who owe taxes will owe less." - Latimes
Which is interesting, because a forced loan without interest seems to be much more of a tax and much less of a loan.
I don't know about you, but when I give out a loan I expect to make a decent rate back on it.
In addition to Californians not getting their money on time, the money withheld will also take a hit from inflation--whatever percentage the dollar is devalued the year that the money is withheld--while the government holds it. This year that percentage is quite a substantial amount.
Because no interest is given during this period, the holdings are indeed a tax. The tax on this sum can can be calculated by taking into account inflation and the potential that the money would have earned if it were actually loaned at interest, or invested elsewhere.(It would have to be something you were actually going to do with the money)
In any event, when California officials mean that they are holding onto the taxpayer money, they really mean that they are "spending it all as fast as they can in a desperate attempt to turn around budget deficits"
Unfortunately, spending your way out of deficits has never worked very well for the United States. It's exactly like trying to fill a hole, by digging at the bottom of the hole. It just doesn't make any sense. The only way California is ever going to fix it's financial problems is by cutting spending--something California has never been very good at.
As it stands, the good news is that the withholdings will probably go away after the state fixes its deficit problem. The bad news is that the state will probably never fix its deficit problem.
The withholdings tax doesn't look like it's going anywhere, and it will probably increase again for Californians in the future.

What am I going to do about it? My job is to complain about things, not to fix them.
I do have one suggestion for Californians though: move to Florida, where companies are allowed to pay employees a little more of what they earn.

Src: Cbs2
Src: Latimes

A Cynical Look On The Great Kitten Warz.

The Kitten Warz, they have begun.
Apparently the main cause of this war is over several ounces of the rare catnip resource.
This is perhaps the one thing the kittens can agree on.

"dis happund cuz i jus rweally need dat catnip," says fuzzlewazum, Kitten Warz veteran and catnip enthusiast.

According to furball the other kittens aren't very nice at all, "i dun liek thos giez, dey jus mean. and i jus rweally need dat catnip."

"Ceiling cat sed i get sevuntey-too tinz ove cat nip wen i go boom," said fireball, the until-just-recently living kamikaze kitten.

It looks like these battles will not die down any time soon. Catnip is really great after all. It's pretty much the best thing to happen ever. You better stay away from mine!

Yes catnip, we all jus rweally need it.

A Cynical Look On The Growing Number of Tiger Penguin Attacks

Tiger Penguins
Perhaps one of the most frightening creatures to grace the islands south of Antarctica.

And they appear to be becoming more aggressive.
Nine tiger penguin attacks have been reported this year alone, up from a reported two a year earlier.

Local occupants are horrified by the Tiger Penguins' numerous vicious attacks.

"They can smell fear," said Roberta Wellington, one of the many islanders terrorized by the tiger penguins. "Even after they had taken my husband's left arm, they returned to take his right. Now he just has stumps."

"I suppose they can smell arms too," Roberta added, a look of horror coming across her face as her eyes turned to her own arms.

Reports indicate that the greatest number of tiger penguins were sighted just slightly south of the earth's southern pole.

"We go there all the time," said Ted Schwarz, whose friend was viciously mauled by a Tiger Penguin. "It's where we get our feel good happy dust."

"Someone needs to put a stop to it, for my friend's sake."

A Cynical Look On Getting Shot

A new study by the National Happiness Coalition of America has come out with new results that allege being shot in the foot may not be good for happiness.

"In a group of random study participants found on the streets of San Fransisco, 48 out of 50 subjects reported a decrease in happiness shortly after having their foot shot" reported head scientist Dr. Jhon Saadist.

A .32 Caliber Pistol was used for administration of the gunshot.

Evidently two of the subject's opinions could not actually be included among the negative results because after they begun spouting off curse words, the subjects went unconscious before they could express unhappiness. Dr. Saadist explained that a string of curse words is often an expression of great joy.

Unfortunately the NHC did not include a control group, or a group of people that were not shot in the foot during the study process, so the results are not valid.
Had the study been more complete however, the NHC estimates being shot in the foot may decrease happiness by up to 18%.
Until happiness has been proven to be affected negatively by being shot however, Physicians may still administer "shots" as a stress reduction treatment.

A Cynical Look On Posting

I would Like to inform all readers that A Cynical Look now plans to post on a weekly basis.
Most posts should be available for reading on Mondays.

A Cynical Look On Competition: Government Style! Part 2

Dan makes marbles. He's the only marble maker around, and he can make a marble out of nearly anything. His best customer is Fred.
Fred sells marbles. Fred's marbles are made of solid gold. Each marble costs him 10 dollars, but he sells them for 11 dollars.
One day, George opens up a marble shop. George sells marbles made of painted glass for 5 dollars. The marbles cost George 6 dollars each. The government declares Fred has to pay George 50% of his sales. The government also declares that refusing to sell marbles to George because he's losing money and won't be able to pay you back is illegal.
Dan still makes money, because he still profits on all of Fred's sales. He loses money every time George sells a marble, though.
Fred reacts by raising his marble price to 21 dollars, and retaining the solid gold marbles. Fewer people want to buy Fred's marbles, because they're so much more expensive. Fred reacts by lowering the quality of his marbles to silver.
Fred's silver marbles cost him 8 dollars each. He sells them for 17 dollars each. More customers come to Fred's store, but the marbles aren't as good. Fred still needs more customers. He decided to move down to marbles made of iron.
Fred's iron marbles cost him 6 dollars each. He's desperate for customers, so he sells them for 12.02. The quality is even lower now, and Fred still can barely scrape even. Fred decides he's got to move prices lower than George's.
Fred decided to buy hollow glass marbles that break if you so much as breath at them. These marbles cost Fred 50 cents each. He tries to sell than for 1.02. Nobody wants to buy such a terrible product, and Fred goes out of business.
George, who had been getting half of Fred's sales, suddenly begins to lose money. Due to his government contract, he cannot change his prices nor the type of marble he sells. George loses massive amounts of money.
Dan, who had been selling the marbles to Fred and George, cannot afford to continue to sell George marbles, as George does not pay him. Dan goes out of business.
George no longer has any marbles to sell. George goes out of business.
Now nobody sells marbles! Isn't this so much better?

If you missed the comparison, Fred is the free market. He is trying to maximize his profit at every step. George is the government, he can lose money on every sale, but make it up by sucking money away from Fred. Dan is the development, he supplies the technology and production. He loses money selling to George, but cannot stop, because George is his boss.

A Cynical Look On Competition: Government Style! Part 1

Ahh, time to pass a few more bills through congress before anyone gets a chance to read them.
Actually, this is admittedly part of the strategy being used to pass the new Health Care Bill. The new Health Care bill is "on schedule" to be voted upon during this session of congress. Liberal legislators fear that if it does not pass before Congress goes out of session, the bill may become unpopular.
Hmm, interesting
Perhaps because people will figure out what's actually in the bill?
No, I suppose that wouldn't be good for the bill's popularity.

Evidently, Obama's plan is good because it creates competition. At least, according to advocates of the bill.
"Ahh yes, competition! Now we have the free market cornered! We'll beat them at their own game and prove that capitalism doesn't work!"
Unlike corporation, the government doesn't actually have to play by the rules.
You see, Corporations actually have to make a PROFIT. To say the government is competing when it is allowed to break the only primary rule is just plain stupid.
It's like a race in the ocean between a Tuna fish and a Human, where the finish line is 2000 feet under water. The fish can go down into debt as much as it wants, but the Human is stuck with the lungs of bankruptcy.
On top of that, the Health Care bill unleashes a plethora of new taxes against insurance companies. It's as if the fish get's to break the man's legs before the race starts.
It's not really hard to see who the "winner" of this competition will be. When all is said and done though, the man may have broken legs, and the tuna might swim better, but whom do you trust more to treat your flu.

A Cynical Look On Swine Flu

(Note: This is a work of hyperbole and fiction)
As you all know, swine flu is now a cause of great concern in several nations, and has penetrated the population of Kirksville. Concerned for my health and the safety of others, I did some research on the subject. I have come to the conclusion that we are not dealing with any ordinary strain of flu, but rather the potential cause of the zombie apocalypse.

In nearly all documented cases, zombie infestation has been caused by a virus. In the Raccoon City incident, it was a virus, when Will Smith became the last human in New York, it was a virus, and yet again, and when a computer becomes a zombie, it is due to a virus. Thus, viruses cause zombies.

Swine flu has started to create a panic, as would be expected in the early stages of zombie infection, many myths are surrounding swine flu, but one thing we do know is that it does not actually come from pigs, it is from unknown origin, and is only somewhat similar to true swine flu. The latest strains contain genetic material from several sources. This is not like anything we have seen before, it is far worse. It was not transmitted from pigs to humans, it was MADE.

In order for multiple strains of flu, from multiple animals and continents to combine, someone or something must have done what nature cannot, created something with malicious intent that defies everything we have known. A super-virus, unleashed upon an unsuspecting world, masquerading itself as something less sinister, waiting for the time to strike.

When that day comes, I will be ready, and I want you, my friends, to be prepared. Once H1N1 hits the tipping point, it will mutate , and then it will begin. The meeting place is 2nd Floor, Missouri Hall. Call if you need help. After we gather, we move to a secure location. Be prepared, and watch out for trucks.

This work was donated and is accredited to Mr. Leroy

A Cynical Look On Government Tea Continued

The biggest Tax day Tea Party was not unexpectedly at The Alamo.
Perhaps the only news reporter I can stand from Fox news, Glen Beck, gave a rousing speech that he posted on his website, and which ran on Fox News. (The only station that really even covered it)

A Cynical Look On Government Tea

No, not in the literal sense--symbolically.
On April 15th, 2009 there will take place a "National Tax Day Tea Party"
The primary goals are to protest wasteful government spending in all of its forms, including bailouts, and of course the fact that the government is dramatically raising taxes in order to do so.

A Cynical Look will give various updates on the National Tax Day Tea Party which is set to start taking place in a few hours from now.

Don't Tread On Me
Undoubtedly the Gadsden flag will be seen widely, so I would like to explain what it is in this post.

The idea for the flag was actually inspired by a political cartoon drawn by Benjamin Franklin that may be familiar.

The individual pieces of the snake were representative of the colonies at the time. The general idea was that if all of the colonies did not come work together during the French Indian wars to face their threat, they would die.

Later on the Gadsden was all over the place-- on money, uniform buttons, and flags.

In December 1775, "An American Guesser" anonymously wrote to the Pennsylvania Journal:
Many scholars now agree that this is actually Benjamin Franklin explaining the Gadsden symbol.
(Copies of this letter can be found all over the internet-- and now here also)
"I observed on one of the drums belonging to the marines now raising, there was painted a Rattle-Snake, with this modest motto under it, 'Don't tread on me.' As I know it is the custom to have some device on the arms of every country, I supposed this may have been intended for the arms of America."
This anonymous writer, having "nothing to do with public affairs" and "in order to divert an idle hour," speculated on why a snake might be chosen as a symbol for America.
First, it occurred to him that "the Rattle-Snake is found in no other quarter of the world besides America."
The rattlesnake also has sharp eyes, and "may therefore be esteemed an emblem of vigilance." Furthermore,
"She never begins an attack, nor, when once engaged, ever surrenders: She is therefore an emblem of magnanimity and true courage. ... she never wounds 'till she has generously given notice, even to her enemy, and cautioned him against the danger of treading on her."
"I confess I was wholly at a loss what to make of the rattles, 'till I went back and counted them and found them just thirteen, exactly the number of the Colonies united in America; and I recollected too that this was the only part of the Snake which increased in numbers. ...
"'Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together, so as never to be separated but by breaking them to pieces. One of those rattles singly, is incapable of producing sound, but the ringing of thirteen together, is sufficient to alarm the boldest man living."
Franklin, of course, is also known for opposing the use of an eagle -- "a bird of bad moral character" -- as a national symbol.

A Cynical Look on A Cynical Look as logos

Right, So I've been thinking of coming up with a logo so the blog can be more identifiable.

Which is why I did.
I'll put it in this post to get some opinion.

A Cynical Look On Prime Minister Gordon Brown

It appears that conservatives in the UK are finally starting to get some attention. Of course, not from the mainstream media (which will refuse to cover them in a positive sense) but on the internet.

Daniel Hannan gave a heated three minute speech flaming Gordon Brown for the predicament that the UK finds itself in during the global recession which came with cheers from the background.

The views on this video are rapidly multiplying. To note:this had 980,000 Views when I posted it and 100,000 the first time I saw it only hours before. This video has quickly become one of the most watched videos in the UK.
The man has become instantly popular and runs a blog of his own.

Later, Hannan spoke out against the British Investment Bank

Congratulations internet, you win.

A Cynical Look On the cum hoc ergo propter hoc Logical Fallacy.

The (cum hoc ergo propter hoc) or Correlation does not imply causation fallacy essentially says that because one thing has a correlation with another, it does not automatically mean that one caused the other.

And indeed a third variable could cause the problem.

As an example, Co2's relationship to global warming does not necessarily mean that Co2 is what causes global warming. Instead, global warming may actually be a result of all the hot air spewing fourth from Al Gore's overinflated head.

In any event, a problems stems from this type of logical fallacy. At it's most base level, everything falls into this category. For example, just because you see words on your computer screen does not necessarily mean that anyone wrote them. You may actually see these words because I have hit you over the head with a large blunt object, and now you are simply delusional. Also, being hit over the head with a bat may not be what caused you to be delusional, perhaps it was that moldy sandwich you found in the back of the fridge. To continue, perhaps that sandwich was not moldy because it has been in the back of the fridge for so long, but because aliens have decided to invade peoples homes and use their mold guns on random articles of food.

Starting to see a problem? This can continue on forever.

In reality, man kind can only ASSUME that any one thing causes another through enough correlative data. Any kind of statement that any one thing causes another is in fact a logical fallacy. If humanity wants to have any kind of understanding of the world, it is going to have to accept that enough correlation should at least point towards causation.

A Cynical Look On E-Mail Scams

It would appear that Scam E-mails have become much more prevalent recently. This can be a very dangerous thing to someone not skeptical of becoming the worlds next million or billionaire over a lottery contest they never entered. Nor is it safe to someone who believes that they will really be getting the sizable yet non-existent inheritance of a dead African doctor for only the cost of a five thousand dollar wire.

Because we are skeptical, let's take a look at one.
This was sent to me a day ago:

Skip down to the second line if you don't want to read what I guess this person calls "Writing"

[ No Subject ]
We want to acknowledge the receipt of your email in this office and also want you to know that these package(Conferable Bank Draft of $800.000.00United States Dollars) will not be deliver to you without some proper identification. I have never met you before like I said and to be able to carry out our duties effectively, We must be convinced that you are who the testament says you are.Re-confirm to us through the below via email;
Claims Requirements
1. Name in full---------------------2.Address---------------------------
3. Sex--------------------------------4.Country--------------------------
5. Marital Status------------------6. Age -------------------------------
7. Next Of Kin----------------------8. Occupation-----------------------
9. Phone/Fax-----------------------10. Annual Income
The above requested information will enable us deliver your parcel correctly without any mistake or delivering your parcel to a wrong person. Furthermore,you might be asking yourself how comes this email,check or draft, Anyway,your check was brought to this office by a Lottery Fiduciary Agent Or Claim Agent, signifying that you are a rightful winner to their Lottery Award selected randomly from 10 lucky email addresses which your email address is one of the lucky email address. FedEx courier service company mailing you as per your parcel that was brought to this company to be delivered to you by lottery groups, along the delivery process that brought a misunderstanding between you and the lottery claim agent and in regards of their request as per their insurance certificate cost and tax fee which happened to be the course of your parcel being pending for the past months/one year. Meanwhile we are hereby happy to inform you that the FedEx Company has finalized everything with the nicon insurance company of Nigeria and the internal revenue office as the company organization has also listed 24 valuable parcels to be intact in their office after the released of the parcels from the nicon insurance company and internal revenue office. We inform you once again that your parcel that contains the sum of $800.000.00 United States Dollars, is among the 24 parcels listed which is now in our office and also with your name as the receiver despise that we lost your private residential addresss, which is an indication that you can now re-send your residential address,telephone as stated above back to the FedEx company where your parcel can be delivered to you without hesitation.
Meanwhile remember that the sender of this parcel to you thats the fudiciary agent still ownes this company the sum of $500.00 before incident occurs Note this fee is not just for delivery but with the stamduty, this company has spend out of their incomes in the process by recovery back your parcel so dear customer we once again appreciate your patronage in our favour. Without hesitations you are to pay for just the balance left by your sender since we have lost his contact.so that your parcel can be delivered to your residential address before it accumulate a demurrage after one week only,as you know your parcel is not just an ordinary parcel but with a huge amount and I think you understand what I mean by accumulating a demurrage? Which you will not allow to happen to your recovery parcel that almost gone if not for the love that the good God have for you by favoring you with his favour because it was god who did it not by your power but by the spirit say the lord. We assure you that your parcel will arrive at your country in two days time and it will get to your door step the third day as soon as this company receive the balance left by you and the tracking number of your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately so that you can track it yourself to see your parcel coming on the way and you will also know when it will arrive at your country because we operate in trust and loyalty in your favour.
Get back to us as soon as possible for payment detail for your delivery.

Mr. Russell E
Email: fedexdeliveryservice@w.cn
Tel: +234 805 312-02-32

The easiest way to tell if an E-mail sent to you is "a fake" is to just throw a big portion into a search engine. It will probably show up under Scam titles all over the place, like the page you are viewing now.

At a glance- Notice that the scammer did not fill out a subject, this makes it easier to get around spam filters that might normally keep it out of the main inbox. Because so many people send real e-mails without a subject line, the spam filters have little choice but to allow them. Also notice that the e-mail claims to be from Fedex, a well recognized transportation company. If the e-mail really was from Fedex, the address would be from (blank)@Fedex.com not a simple @hotmail.com account. This scammer was such a half-wit that he didn't even spoof his e-mail address.(Be careful, some do.) Apart from that, the phone number our brilliant scammer left isn't based in the US--Fedex is a US company.

Down to the fun stuff- Remember our article about chain posts on facebook? The same principal pertaining to grammar goes here. This e-mail is absolutely appalling, and though I know of some managers that should be required to pass some sort of test before they're in charge of anyone, I'm quite sure that Fedex wouldn't hire a "Managing Director" that didn't know what English was... In fact, I doubt the person who wrote this could even manage to spell "English"

Apart from the incredible amount of spelling errors that a simple spell check would have fixed, which I will put in bold, there are quite a few sentences that don't even seem to make sense.
As an example:
" Which you will not allow to happen to your recovery parcel that almost gone if not for the love that the good God have for you by favoring you with his favour because it was god who did it not by your power but by the spirit say the lord."
..... What?

The further one goes on in the E-mail, the less sense it starts to make. It's almost as if two different people wrote the e-mail.

Other Hints- The scammers give away their location when they talk about nicon,which is some sort of phony insurance company based in Nigeria. (The home of the majority of scammers) The writer also constantly refers to him or her self in the E-mail, and originally, the only purpose of the E-mail was to obtain contact information.
So, I gave them Contact information--not mine of course.

1. Name in full---------------------2.Address---------------------------
3. Sex--------------------------------4.Country--------------------------
5. Marital Status------------------6. Age -------------------------------
7. Next Of Kin----------------------8. Occupation-----------------------
9. Phone/Fax-----------------------10. Annual Income

1. Name: You're An Idiot
2. Address: Up Yours
3. Sex: Not from you
4. Country: Nicetrytopia
5. Marital Status: Maybe
6. Age: 1337
7. Next of Kin: My Uncle's Sister's Brother's Roommate's Cousin
8. Occupation: Mocking you
9. Phone: 588-2300-Empire -- Today!
10. Annual Income: -13 and 1 half Trytopia Dollars

If I get a response, I'll post it here.

Summary- Logically, we could have gotten rid of this one with just what we have at a glance. This is a scam to get $500 dollars out of you, and whatever else is in the account that you used. Also, after spending too long reading this gibberish, I have obtained a very large headache.
From this we can conclude that this particular scam e-mail causes loss of money and or headaches.

A Cynical Look On Stimulus Packages

Some numbers run by FY707:

The bottom number is the combined amount that Taxpayers WILL get.
Essentially, this is a spreadsheet that shows us exactly how much money each American could have gotten if it weren't lost in all kinds of "legislation" or spent on all kinds of things that have nothing to do with stimulating the economy. In theory, each American could have gotten at least twice as much as they will in total.

A Cynical Look on Fraud

Ahh yes, downloading freedom. In fact, according to baydownloads, they give the user such downloading freedom that they have just about every file you can think of. They even have files that just don't seem to exist anywhere else! Just try typing "ffdsaanjj!!nns" into the search bar on their site when you aren't logged in as a member. I think you will be pleased to find several results come up with randomly generated download speeds on the right. When you do find that sdsdiiaaahhhqqq.iso file that you just can't seem to find anywhere else, and with a download speed of 1204kb/s, giving the download a shot only seems to be the next logical step. I mean just look at what anonymous people say about it!

February 2, 2008

Just wanted to write in saying thank you to the support team, I had a problem installing [a game] and they told me what I was doing wrong. Very professional support team -- thanks!"

January 28, 2007

Your support team rocks! I get a responce in less than 15 minutes"

-Taken directly from www.baydownloads.com

After the download seems to pend legitimately, all that stands between you and that qqqzzzxxxiii.iso file is a $4 three day trial! Go ahead and go through all of the fine print on this matter, you will be delighted to know that there are no catches or additional fees in the writing, because there isn't any fine print! A straightforward $4 trial fee is all it takes. After searching so long, it may just be worth the $4 to download this file.

After signing up, you will read a wonderful receipt in your email letting you know that you have gotten the bonus of a completely unrelated porn subscription! And it only cost you an additional $40! What a deal! You even get to find out that they intend to charge you another $40 in three days time, isn't that just wonderful?

And the best part of all, when you look for your file and it is nowhere to be found on the website after you are logged in. In fact, click on any file on the site. Any one at all. They don't actually seem to have any files. What they do have are some links to filefront, and other legit services that will allow you do use their free user program to download the files, half of which have been removed. Also, the download speeds next to the lists of files they do point to don't seem to be correlated to anything, because you would have to pay these other services to get download speeds anywhere near the amounts that are posted. You even get to find out that the pending page you used to try and download the file you were originally looking for is the same in all cases and even if you were to get to he page while logged in, you are informed that you need to sign up with the service or log in to download the file. You can probably assume that this is because the page is a fake.

Maybe you should spend some time contacting the user support and billing services that never seem to reply or respond.

Time to call that Credit Card Company
Don't you just love fraud, false advertising, and theft?

A Cynical Look on Dwarf Fortress

Well, I'm back. Today, the subject shall be Dwarf Fortress, the most complex ASCII game I've ever seen. Now, before the technical details overwhelm you, these things you need to know about Dwarf Fortress are actually quite simple. You have dwarves. You build a fort. You attempt to survive. Everything Is Trying To Kill You. All in all, the game makes losing fun. Which may possibly be why the unofficial motto is "Losing is fun."

Now Fortress mode, which is the mode I've played as of the time of this typing, is much like The Sims. Except more in depth, less pretty, and more hilarious. Oh yeah, and the fact that a single wrong move spells doom for hours of work, as there is no in game way to avoid saving your work. The save when you exit sounds nice at first. ONLY at first. Because after you've accidentally tunneled into magma at the wrong level and it is now filling your fortress from bottom to top, you'll wish there was a way to revert to an earlier save.

Now while that sounds terrible, it actually serves as a great way to make sure you never screw up the same way twice. Or at least not twice in a row. While the game punishes the slightest misstep severely, it still somehow manages to be fun. Between managing a goblin raid, your drunken lunatic dwarves, the snotty nobles, and still trying to expand, there's always a challenge.

On to actual gameplay! The gameplay is what makes Dwarf Fortress so good. The gameplay puts other, bigger, better budget games to shame. The kind of shame that makes one want to go hide in a hole, then have the hole closed by a boulder, and then have concrete poured over the entrance. Nearly everything works perfectly, amazing for an alpha edition of a game. There are some issues, like fish being ridiculously powerful. Yes, fish are an issue. Remember, Everything Is Trying To Kill You. Thus,your fisherdwarves have the nasty habit of being pulled into the river by their beards (Dwarves fish with their bears. Everyone knows this.) and drowning. Only purring maggots being milkable, (cows aren't) megabeasts being caught in cages, but everything somehow works. Even the things that seem to be broken somehow add to the fun that is Dwarf Fortress.

The traps are limited only by what you can imagine doing with pressure plates, levers, stones, pillars, and the rest of your materials. Including magma. An example of the fun of this game is getting the magma (which is trying to kill you) and opening a floodgate, releasing it onto an invading party of goblins (which are, of course, trying to kill you) creating an awesome site of dead goblins. Boatmurdered is an excellent example of why this game is so hilariously fun. Even when thing are going totally wrong, it's still all kinds of awesome.

In art, Dwarf Fortress is as good as it gets. If, of course, you're looking for ASCII simplicity. Otherwise, it's terrible artwork. However, the artwork fits the game beautifully. I have to give Dwarf Fortress a 87/100, for excellent gameplay, with some minor flaws, and outdated artwork. Oh, and did I mention it's free? Yeah, you can go try it for nothing.
If any responses ask for it, gameplay tips can be given.