A Cynical Look on Idiots Part 2

I'm not sure if the Scammer knew what he initially sent me or not. His story seems to skip a large gap where I'm actually supposed to be informed on what's going on. He seems to think I should already know that this is a scheme to get the money for ourselves-- I do-- but not because he told me.

Dear Friend,
Thanks for your mailI must thank you first for your response . Please be contacting me through this my private box for security reasons. The time frame is the best time to do the transaction because after the long years of absence, the bank has decided to transfer this fund to the bank treasury if unclaimed at the end of the fiscal year 2010 ,that is why everything has to be done speedily if you wish that we make a success in this transaction. The owner of the said fund was a gold merchant from Germany and he got the money from the proceeds he made while he was mining in Sierra Leone before the war broke out there. I will give you further information about him later. My concern is for you to keep absolute secret. I have given you the details of the transaction hereunder to enable you know whether you can run the transaction with me.

Sorry that I did not respond immediately as you expected because I was putting things in order before getting back to you and also I was praying over the transaction because I do not want to get in to any wrong hand.

I do not know you before but your carefulness in responding to my mail interested me that is why I decided to give you all the details to know whether you can make the transaction with me. You do not need to worry on how to be the next of kin because it is what will be used in filling the application that matters. You can either be a next of kin or partner or anything depending on what I decide. No one is aware of this fund and again the deceased has no one coming again for the fund.
I want you to know that if you are serious towards this transaction, we are going to make success.

You have to know whether you have the capacity to receive this money when transferred to your account but my concern is for you to maintain absolute confidentiality.
The percentage is subject to review depending on your committment to help me with full devotion. I am also ready to do charity works with part of the fund after we have succeeded.

Be sure that you have no risks to fear about.
The guarantee is that I am working in the same bank and will also serve as an insider on your behalf.
I am sure also that no one is coming later to ask you whether you are the real next of kin or not because I studied every thing before contacting you and moreover, I cannot involve myself to danger in the same bank where I am working.

I see this as an opportunity for me to be great and I want you also to be honest with me after the fund has been transferred to your account.
I want you to know that you were not the person I had in mind before sending out my message but another person that bears similar name like yours who was formerly living in my country but I couldn't get his email address when I searched for it and in place I got yours.
Don’t be afraid because I am here to give you all the guidelines required.
I want you to tell me more about yourself also.
I have some questions for you.

1. Are you married and of what age are you?
2. what do you wish we can invest on when I will come to your country.
3. Are there things you want to ask me?
4. I need you to tell me whether you are capable of receiving this amount or not when transferred.
For me, I am married with three kids and has worked in this same bank for years.
I will give you the updates when I hear from you.
Below is my personal data

Feel free to ask me any question you need to know concerning this transaction
Below is my complete information:

(2) AGE: 48

(3) PLACE OF BIRTH: Ouagadougou .

(4) HEIGHT: 1.75

(5) WEIGHT: 84 kg , Not Permanent.

(6) SEX: Male.

(7) QUALIFICATION: M.B.A in Economics And P. H. D in Banking and Finance Awarded

(8) OCCUPATION: Banker.

(9) WORKING EXPERIENCE :( T.I.C) Insurance Banjul Gambia & Presently In (Boa) Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso.

(10) MARITAL STATUS: Married With 3 Children.

Waiting for your mail and call as urgency implies. Also i am waiting for your response before sending you the application which is the first step of the claim.
00226 76 23 24 16
Mr Musa Akim

I'm going to respond by asking him a whole lot off pointless questions, and letting him know that he never told me the deal.

Just so I understand correctly, please answer these questions.

You have found a way to claim this money by association of next of kin? You didn't say anything about that earlier.

What happened to that gold mine after the war?
What's it like to be a doctor?
Where did you go to school?
What's it like to liek mudkipz?
You said your height was 1.75, are you really only 2 inches tall?
Are you a leprechaun?

Please answer these questions for me,
and may the mighty balls of god fertilize your egg.


Hopefully he'll answer one of the more crazy questions.
I'll post the next exchange soon.


Anonymous said...

"May the mighty balls of god fertilize your eggs" Fucking classic! I laughed so hard at that. I definitely want to see this out to the end. - Ryan Holmes

Mr. Sam said...

There are no ends, only new beginnings.